The Quiet Game (Pushed Aside Book 1) Read online

  “What the hell happened?” She yells at me as soon as I’m through the door. I decided to go with the answer that is mostly true.

  “Don’t know,” I say and give her an apologetic smile. It’s not even a lie; I still don’t know how I got into this whole situation in the first place.

  The next ten minutes I’m listening to a speech about how this was my last chance and I messed it up. That there is no way anyone is going to adopt me now. I mostly try to tune her out but I’m all ears when she asks me at the end, “do you want me to talk to them one more time? Maybe they will give you another chance since they liked you so much at first?”

  I shake my head profusely. No way I’m going back there. She gives me an eye roll with a drawn-out “okay” gathers her stuff and leaves.

  I slump back into my chair and take a deep breath. Glad this is over. I go to my room and get started on my homework. I’m almost finished when I am interrupted by a strange buzzing noise from my bag. I realize it's the phone Jaxon gave me. I look at the little screen to find it’s a text.

  JAXON: EVERYTHING GO ALRIGHT TODAY?

  ME: YES

  JAXON: THAT'S GOOD

  I have never counted written words against my five-word rule and I never had a phone, or someone to text with so I’m now faced with a new possibility. I’m also dying to ask him at least fifty questions. I start with the most recent thing on my mind.

  ME: WHATS THE BUNKER?

  JAXON: IT’S A FANCY NIGHTCLUB. I'M SURPRISED YOU NEVER HEARD OF IT. ALL THE HIGH SCHOOL KIDS TRY TO GET IN.

  That explains the girl’s reaction and why I never heard of it. I am trying not to dwell on how he writes ‘high school kids’ because I don’t want him to see me as a kid. I’m almost seventeen and he is not that much older than me. A spark of confidence grabs me out of nowhere and before I can change my mind I write something I would never say out loud in a million years.

  ME: CAN’T BE THAT COOL IF I HAVEN'T BEEN THERE.

  As soon as I hit send, I regret it.

  I’m almost certain he is going to either laugh off my response or ignore it. His answer is what I least expect it to be.

  JAXON: YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU SHOULD COME WITH ME TOMORROW NIGHT AND CLASS UP THE PLACE.

  I read his text about 5 times but the words still don’t change. He must be joking.

  ME: I WAS KIDDING. I WOULD NOT GET IN ANYWAYS.

  JAXON: I CAN GET YOU IN.

  JAXON: AND DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SAYING THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR. WHATEVER YOU HAVE IS GOING TO BE FINE. I'LL PICK YOU UP AT NINE SHARP!

  I wasn’t going to say anything about clothes… but now that he mentioned it, I don’t have anything to wear.

  The next night I sneak out of the house a few minutes before nine. I feel a bit bad about it because my foster parents, Brad and Christine, would worry about me if they knew I was sneaking out. Of course, I feel perfectly safe with Jaxon who is already waiting for me on the other side of the road, leaning against the hood of his car. He opens the door for me as I come closer.

  “I see you found some clothes to wear,” he smirks.

  I look down at my old pair of jeans, sneakers, and tank top. It is the best thing about having a very limited closet. You don’t have a big choice on what to wear. When all I do is shrug he looks at me with his eyebrows raised.

  “So, texting is ok but talking is still a no go?” I’m not sure how I can explain to him everything that is going on in my head and why I do the things I do.

  “I see.” He interrupts my thoughts. “Let's get something to eat before we go to the club.” He doesn’t seem bothered or annoyed by me not talking, just takes it as a matter of fact without judgment.

  When we sit down at the table at a casual restaurant I look up to see his face in the light for the first time today. The left side of his face is swollen and black and blue.

  When he catches me staring at him he says wryly, “You should see the other guy.” Then he gives me a dazzling movie star smile that makes me feel lightheaded. I decide to leave that subject alone and look at the menu instead. I try to decide on what to order but I can’t stop looking around the restaurant. There are so many people here, so many unfamiliar noises. I can feel myself getting more anxious by the second while my eyes are wandering.

  I’m startled when Jaxon suddenly jumps up from his seat, just to walk over to my side of the table and sit down on the bench next to me. I have to scoot over all the way to the end of the booth so we both fit but our thighs are still touching. He turns to me and asks, “have you ever played tag?”

  I nod my head slowly still not sure where he is going with this whole thing.

  “You know how before a game you come up with a base? Something where no one can get to you as long as you are holding on to it,” he explains.

  I nod again. It has been a while since I played, but I do remember the concept.

  “How about I’ll be your base? As long as you are touching me, no one can get to you. You’ll be safe and that means you can talk.”

  I stare at him stunned…stunned by the fact that he figured out the reason I don’t talk so easily and even more astounded by what he is offering me. I take a breath and really think about what he is saying… what he is offering. I feel weirdly safe sitting backed up in a corner like this. His body is pretty much hiding me from everybody and if someone was trying to get to me they would have to go through Jaxon first.

  I’ve lived with my five-word rule for a very long time and I never even thought about stopping or changing the rules. I also never had a reason to. Now I do. I actually want to talk to him, ask him questions and I want to be able to answer his. It takes me a few minutes of thinking. Jaxon is patiently sitting next to me… just waiting. After considering everything, I decide this would be an acceptable rule to my game.

  “Deal,” I finally answer.

  At that moment the waitress comes back to take our order. “Wha…” Is the only thing she can get out.

  Jaxon interrupts her and blurts out, “two sweet teas, two burgers with everything and add fries. Thanks.”

  The waitress takes our menus seemingly understanding and leaves. Jaxon turns back to me, giving me his full attention. He makes an “Mhm” sound, tapping one finger on his lip and pulls together his eyebrows like he is thinking really hard about what questions to choose. Then he finally asks.

  “What's the first memory you have?”

  I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t that. Jaxon is staring at me like he is watching the most exciting action movie he has ever seen. I actually have to think about it for a moment before I say, “No one listening to me.”

  I talk slowly and quietly like I’m trying out the words. I’m not used to saying that many words at one time. “I remember talking but no one would listen, or maybe no-one understood me.”

  Jaxon seems a little disappointed by the answer but I can’t figure out why. He asked me a bunch more questions over the course of our dinner like, “What do you want to be after you finish school?”

  I tell him the truth. “I will be whatever I need to be and take whatever job I can get.” I have no illusions about my chances of making it to college. I have no money and no one to cosign a loan. No place to stay once I'm eighteen and I have nothing to offer that would get me a full scholarship.

  Jaxon is even more disappointed by this answer than by my last.

  By the end of the dinner, I’m stunned by how normal it feels to be talking to him. The words just come out with ease I have never felt before. I barely notice the rest of the people in this restaurant. I feel like it’s just me and Jaxon in some kind of bubble of safety.

  We finish dinner off with some milkshakes that Jaxon insisted on having. He was right, it was delicious, but I can’t shake the feeling that he is also trying to draw out dinner. Maybe he doesn’t want to take me to the club anymore or he isn’t sure if he can get me in after all. I’m debating on telling him we don’t have to go. I would be fine with just
staying here, but then he asks for the check.

  “Ready to go?” He smiles at me eagerly.

  “Yup,” I tell him.

  It’s only a short drive to the club. We pass by the front and I can see a long line at the main entrance. I let out a loud huff.

  “Don’t worry, we don’t have to wait in line to get in,” he snickers from the driver’s seat. He takes a turn into a small side alley and pulls around to the back of the club.

  As soon as we get out of the car I can hear the loud music coming from the club. When we get to the back-entrance Jaxon punches in a number on a code pad at the door. “You work here?”

  “Kind of,” he says a little bit mysteriously.

  Once the door opens, the music is ten times louder. We move through a small hallway that opens up into a huge room. In the middle of the hallway are two huge bouncers blocking the way. There is no way we can get in unnoticed. Jaxon doesn’t seem concerned though and when the bouncers turn to look at us they just step aside and give us a nod. I guess they know each other.

  Right before we walk past them Jaxon takes my hand into his. His large hand engulfs mine with his fingers wrapping around mine tightly. I can’t believe we are holding hands. Excitement builds deep in my gut as he tucks me into him, keeping me close to his body.

  We walk to the end of the bar a little way through the crowd. I'm uneasy with the number of people around me, but Jaxon stays close to me the whole time. When I’m right in front of the bar, Jaxon positions himself behind me, putting his arms on either side of my body so I’m wedged in. I relax… a lot, feeling the same safety I felt in the restaurant. Our bodies are not touching but I can still feel the warmth radiating from him seeping into me and I have to fight the urge to lean back.

  From here we have a good view of most of the room and I can’t help but look around trying to take everything in. The music is so loud that it drowns everything else out. Most people are dancing, some standing around watching, but almost everyone looks like they are just having fun. I’ve never understood the allure of a club, but now that I’m here I can see how this is appealing. This place messes with your senses. Replaces all sounds with music and normal light bulbs with strobe lights.

  “You like this place?” He says in my ear and the closeness of our faces gives me goosebumps.

  I turn my head to him, give him a genuine smile, and say out loud, “Yes!”

  All of a sudden his body stiffens next to me. When I look at him and follow his gaze I realize that he is eyeing some guys starting a fight in the corner of the room. One of the guys throws some kind of bottle and hits a woman in the arm.

  “Stay here, don’t move!” He warns.

  I stand there frozen looking after him as he makes his way through the crowd. I feel exposed and nervous right away. I lean against the bar with my back so I can at least see everything around me. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to see a waitress with curly red hair looking at me. She is pushing a glass toward me that is filled with some red and orange swirl drink and a paper umbrella with a piece of pineapple on the rim. I shake my head and wave my hand towards the glass but she leans in and yells in my ear, “It's on the house, don’t worry its alcohol-free.”

  I give her a nod and an appreciative smile. At first, I take a little sip to try it. It is very good and I don’t taste any alcohol in it so I take a few more, bigger sips.

  Out of nowhere, Jaxon appears next to me, slapping the glass out of my hand. I watch as glass shatters across the floor and liquid spills everywhere. Shocked I look up, trying to understand what just happened. All I find is Jaxon looking angry. His lips are drawn into a hard line and his eyes are a shade darker. He grabs my arm and starts pulling me towards the exit.

  “We are leaving,” He growls in my direction and I’m taken aback by the sudden and drastic change in his mood. “This was a bad idea, I should have never let you come here.”

  He holds on to my arm all the way to the car. His grip is tighter than it needs to be but I’m too scared and shocked to say something when he is in this unpredictable mood.

  “Tonight, was a mistake,” he adds when we are inside the car. I’m so mad. Mad at him for saying these things but even more so, I am mad at myself for letting myself get close, for misreading him so badly. For feeling safe. I’m so angry that my hands are shaking and it takes everything in me not to burst out in tears.

  I look out the window and away from him. I focus my attention on the trees buzzing by us as Jaxon drives down the road. I’m so confused and hurt, unable to figure out what just happened when the anger suddenly starts disappearing. It doesn’t only disappear; it’s replaced with a new feeling… a good feeling. Warmth and happiness are spreading throughout my body. What was I mad about again? Was I mad at all? No, that can’t be right. Why would I be mad at anything when everything feels so good?

  One moment I’m in Jaxon’s car the next I’m floating on a cloud. A soft, warm cloud that wraps me up in its cloud arms. “You smell good,” I tell that cloud and bury my face in it. When the cloud tries to float away I hold on to it as tight as I can.

  I snuggle up to it and plead, “Don’t leave me.” I think I hear a whisper back that sounds like, “I won’t leave you. Not tonight.” I hang onto the words without being sure that I’ve actually heard them. The voice is just too far away for me to be sure.

  I wake up sometime later, or maybe I’m still asleep. I think I’m in some kind of limbo where I’m neither. Wherever I am, it is dark. I can’t see anything, but now I’m curled up on Jaxon’s chest, my head resting where I can hear his heartbeat and he is lazily stroking my back. This is nice. I could stay here in this limbo world forever.

  9

  Jaxon

  Her cheek is on my chest and her soft breathing tickles my skin even through my shirt sending shivers down my spine. This could be a perfect moment. She is content and safe, lying in my bed, wrapped up in my arms. Her hair smells like vanilla as I take a soft strand letting it run between my fingers.

  Too bad that none of this is real. She didn’t come here of her own free will. I carried her here after Colt slipped her a drugged drink. Thinking he was doing me some kind of sick favor, or at least that's what he swore up and down when I called him. I have been friends with Colt and Hunter for years and I never been so angry with either one of them. We basically grew up together and we have been through a lot. They are the only two people that even know about Eliza and how I feel about her…at least I thought they knew. Now I think Colt has no idea what Eliza means to me. Maybe he just can’t understand, we are the closest thing he has to a family and other than that, the majority of his relationships consist of one-night-stands.

  Guilt and anger plagues me. I should have never left her side. Actually, she shouldn’t have been there at all. She shouldn’t be anywhere close to me or the world I’m living in. I let it happen again. My selfish need to have her close keeps putting her in danger.

  She buries her face into my chest, her small fingers curl around the fabric of my shirt and all I can think of is how much it’s going to hurt to let her go.

  In her drugged haze she wants me close, cuddling up to me, begging me not to leave her but she doesn’t know what she is saying. She doesn't know what kind of person I really am. The kind of business I deal in. What I do for money and what my two best friends do for money. She doesn’t know that I know exactly what kind of stuff Colt does but I choose to look the other way for my own gain. If she knew half of it, she would run…run away as fast as she could.

  10

  Eliza

  When I first open my eyes, I have no idea where I am or what day it is. I am so disoriented that I freak out for a few seconds. I take in my surroundings one by one and realize quickly that I am in Jaxon’s bedroom. Relief washes over me as I sit up in the bed. I’m alone in the room and I am glad because I'm not quite sure what happened last night. I try to remember everything but only come up with random bits and pieces. Did I drink alcohol
last night? I don’t think so.

  I slowly get up and notice that I am a little dizzy and I feel like I haven’t had a sip of water in ages. When I grab the bottle of water sitting on the nightstand and start chugging it I also realize that I am fully clothed. Another plus, at least I didn’t have my first time without remembering it.

  That’s when I hear Jaxon’s voice coming from the other room. He is yelling at someone. I don’t want to intrude but my curiosity is getting the better of me, and I open the door slowly so I can hear him more clearly.

  “I don’t care! Today, not next week. I don’t care how you do it. Just do it, or else your wife is going to find out about your extra-curricular activities.”

  Hearing him yelling into the phone gives me flashbacks of last night. How angry he was at the club. Just like how angry he still is now. What happened? What did I do wrong?

  When he sees me standing in the doorway he only looks at me for a brief second.

  “Drink that,” he demands, pointing to a glass. His voice is flat, without any emotions and I feel like he just slapped me in the face. How can he be so distant and cold all of the sudden? I force myself to move and take the glass he is pointing to. It’s the same chocolate protein shake he made me the other day. I obey and drink the shake mostly because I really don’t know what else to do or say.

  He doesn’t talk when he drives me home either. He barely even looks at me when he parked in front of my house. I sit there for a minute waiting… hoping he would say something… anything, but he never does. I get out of the car and walk into the house without looking back with treacherous tears rolling down my cheek.